Monday, December 31, 2012
I’m going to do something that I haven’t done in all my years of blogging this January (that’s 6+ years of blogging). It’s the perfect time as I have no reviews due (other than a few scheduled for this week).
It has to do with my camera. It’s something that I have been pondering and praying about for a long time.
I haven’t worked out all the kinks yet but will blog more about it very soon (I have to, tomorrow is the 1st of January).
A few more hints (the first one had to do with my camera). I don’t know how to really write this but for months now I feel like I’m not paying enough attention to the needs and wants of my children and my household.
You would think as a homeschooling mom who is home all day with her children, how can that be. But lately I feel like the heart strings of my children are unraveling and I feel so helpless. There is a loneliness I have and I’m not even sure if the word lonely is the correct word.
My marriage is wonderful so it has nothing to do with being lonely as a wife and mom.
This is why I really don’t think the word lonely is right but there is a feeling inside me that I can’t put my finger on.
But I know there is something missing here that I as a mother am suppose to provide. I feel it in my mommy heart.
I have a plan but I need to pray a bit more and think it through.
Some words to ponder:
Reconnect, focus, and where am I going are a few things I will right about soon.
As for tonight, I’m going to stay awake all night with my children. Lance has been looking forward to it for weeks now.
One last thing, hitting the submit button for this post to go live is really hard. Why, because it’s keeping me accountable with following through with my upcoming plan and being transparent can be difficult, especially when sharing ones heart on a public blog .