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You Can Train Your Toddler

You can train your toddler to:
  1. not say, "no" to you
  2. to come when called (even when leaving the park)
  3. to obey you
  4. not whine when asking for something
  5. to sit at the table with his/her snack
  6. to not get into things
  7. not to cry when he/she can't have their way
  8. to share and be kind
  9. to take a nap when it's time
  10. to not call people 'stupid' or 'meany'
I don't believe in the terrible two stage. I think too many people think it's normal behavior for a child to whine, talk back etc.
Children are born with a sin nature. It is my job as a parent to guide, train and nurture my child to avoid all of the above. Not saying it's going to be easy. It takes time and commitment. Mom, is always on guard and ready to correct and train. It's a 24 hour job.

One time after supper I was handing out ice cream cones to my children. Ethan's turn came. He was all smiles ready to get his cone, when I remembered that he didn't 'like' what I set before him at supper time. He wouldn't even try it, so he ate bread and had some water, thus he was not allowed to have dessert. Do you think it was easy for me to tell my little guy, "Sorry, Ethan, you didn't eat your supper. You can't have ice cream tonight." and seeing his shiny, bright eyes and smile fade? No, it was hard for me. I so wanted to hug him and cuddle him and say I was sorry but I didn't. I said, 'No' and that was that.

If you train your child to not say "no" to you as a toddler then it's not natural for them and won't be when they are older. My oldest is 12yrs. old and I can't remember the last time he ever said, "No" to me (I know, I haven't hit the teenage years yet. I'll have to report back)

Basically what I'm saying is when my child sins, I take care of it at that moment (most of the time). Now that they are older I still do this. A while back Annette, my dear, sweet Annette, rolled her eyes at me (gasp). I didn't let her walk away. Instead I took care of it right then and there. Letting her know that what she did was disobedient. It's not pleasing to God or me. I also told her I don't ever want to see her do that again. She hasn't rolled her eyes at me since.

Having their father on my side is major. He would never let any of the children get away with disrespecting me.

I'm saying this from my heart. I'm by far not a perfect parent. My children are not perfect children. Just today I put up a "Brent's No Anger Chart" because he has an anger problem. When he is mad he has attacked a sibling. If he can go a day without getting angry and letting his flesh take over he gets to put a sticker on the chart.

With Caleb, we are working with letting things go. I'm teaching him how to 'chill' as they say. If he does not conquer this now while he is young, I see a very unhappy life for Caleb, because he'll let everything bother him.

As you can see, we are done with the toddler stage. I don't have my children talking back to me and this makes things so much easier to train them in other things. Like not giving into their flesh when they are mad or not to get so upset because Ethan's foot was on Caleb's ladder (Caleb, made a big thing of Ethan's foot on his ladder yesterday, when all he needed to do was 'chill'. Who cares if his foot was on the ladder, just skip that step.)

I don't water things down. I let my children know that they sinned. I will let them know that they are not pleasing God.

I do praise my children for being good. I 'catch them' being good.

I tell them that they are 'salt' and 'light'. I let them know that they are a walking Bible. Is this to put pressure on them? No, and they don't see it that way. It's all they know. From early on we read the Bible to them. Train them to love, honor and please God, because of this many things regarding behavior comes natural. They know it's not right to lie, take things that don't belong to them, call names, or cheat.

This is getting long but it was on my heart today, so I thought I would share.

4 comments

  1. This is so true, Linda. I never had the terrible twos period, either. Joshua was always a handful, but we set boundaries and he knew he couldn't cross them.

    Here's some good news! I have graduated two teenage daughters who are now young ladies, and I didn't go through any of the horrible teenage period that everyone talked about. Adam is 15, and is still very respectful. Yes, you are right, we are human and have a sin nature and every now and then, I have to remind them to watch the tone in which they speak, but they are very quick to apologize. It did take training. It is discipleship. It's not go do this, it's walk with me and I'll show you how you are supposed to do this. Foolishness is truly bound up in the heart of a child.

    Great post!

    Dee :)

    ps who is heavily working on Josh and his anger (quick to punch if not happy) issues. So far he's doing well in learning to control this. I find that the daily bible lessons and prayer with this child, really do help. I also tell him that a man who cannot control his temper will end up in jail. ;)

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  2. Dee, you say things so beautifully. I love how you put it "it's not do this" but I will show you. Great! I should have also put that children follow our example. If they see dad being disrespectful to mom, then yes, the children will too.
    Lupe has a note in his Bible that says "The best thing you can do for your children is love their mom"

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  3. Also wanted to add: Thanks for your encouragement with regard to your 'good news' about your two grown daughters.

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  4. Hi Lou,
    I was scouring your blog to see if you wrote when your in-laws arrived, and I bumped into some cute pictures and an uplifting post.

    Tonight I sent the kids to bed early today because of disrespect toward each other. It breaks my heart to see them treat each other so rudely.

    I did remind them that God want us to be peacemakers and to put others before ourselves. I then prayed with them about this situation.

    I left the room feeling better and I could tell they were buddies again, but like you said, you need to take care of it then and there. I am having them do extra copy work tomorrow. :)

    I also like your idea with Brent. I think I will borrow your idea with Donnie. He still gets frustrated easily and thinks the world should stop for him. My perception, he will say otherwise. I know selfishness is at the root, but I am having trouble thinking of ways to have him conquer this. Any thoughts?

    Tell everyone we miss them. We wish we could have been there to share in Lupe's chicken.

    Did I tell you that Josh looks SO much older!!

    Lance's b-day letter will get in the mail some time next week. :)

    Toodles,
    Cynthia

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